YEAH BUT CALIGULA WAS FUCKIN INSANE
And not in a good way. He was literally insane, and he was an absolute tyrant. He’s my favourite Roman emperor, just because he’s so interesting
- His father was a military hero, and he spent the first few years of his life on an army camp, where he paraded around wearing this mini-military uniform his mother made (which is where he got his name- “Caligula” meaning “little boot”). The soldiers basically worshipped him.
- As a teenager, he was called before Tiberius (who was a complete tyrant in his own right, and supposedly killed members of Caligula’s family) on the island of Capri, where he was forcibly adopted and as a result of how well he was treated he supposedly developed Stockholm Syndrome (though this is subject to debate). He held an undying hatred for Tiberius but was forced to show respect, so took out his anger on others and enjoyed watching executions and torture, and frequently indulged in orgies
- TIBERIUS THOUGHT HE WAS MAD. TIBERIUS.
- He gains absolute power of the Roman Empire at the 24- spent the last 5 years watching Tiberius murder, rape, and torture innocents for his own pleasure. So it’s fair to say he’s pretty messed up. He starts off by obliterating unpopular tax and literally giving away money- thus winning the adoration of the citizens. Then, seemingly overnight, he becomes a vicious, bloodthirsty psychopath.
- Early in his reign, he fell ill and spent a considerably period of time on the verge of death. Following most of his recovery, he still suffered major headaches and sometimes wandered round his palace in the dead of night, and started cross-dressing
- During his illness, one man offered his life in exchange for Caligula’s recovery. When he recovered, Caligula sought out this man and had him sacrificed.
- He called banquets, raped the female guests, then brought them back to the table to discuss the rape with the other guests
- HE DECLARED WAR ON THE GODS. Hence why he had the army fight Poseidon.
- He would make parents watch the executions of their children
- He held dinner parties for highly-regarded Roman citizens, during which he would order the executions of criminals between courses and- while his guests were dining- he would rape their wives in the room next door
- He appointed a horse as a consul. I’ll say that again. HE NAMED A HORSE A CONSUL. He had said horse attended to by 18 servants and fed it oats mixed with gold flakes
- He names himself a living God
- He his reign lasted four years, before he was stabbed to death. He did all that in four years.
I’M SORRY I JUST REALLY LOVE ROMAN HISTORY OK
Also when he would throw house parties he would hide wild animal like lions in random rooms and made people tour his house by themselves and they would be eaten if they opened the wrong door
(just so you know I did a huge project about him in history)
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Fall Out Boy // I've Got A Dark Alley And A Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth (Summer Song)
Not quite the “Batman wooing Felicity” requested, but Batman’s tech makes Felicity drool.
wanna know what a cow looks like washed and blow dried?
that is what a cow looks like washed and blow dried
"Oh David you’re too big to carry around."
Of all the jobs Rose had had over the years since she started her little babysitting business, Idris’s kids were by far her favorites. Chris always insisted that, being 10, he was too old for a baby sitter but he’d always find his way into the living room and into their little games. Davie was a sweetheart but had a penchant for taking things apart. Rose had learned very quickly to keep any electronic devices and kitchen ware high and far from his reach when he was out of her site. Little Matty with his penchant for finding a new hat to wear every time she saw him was a quiet little four year old but she knew for all his quiet and some what clingy demeanor he was always getting into trouble and had a mischievous side hidden behind that adorable little face.
Babus! I dunno. You should probably just take my tablet away from me.
I just picture them all being really protective of her too, since their mom is always away at work and stuff. and and they have this little box fort/club house ala “Out of the Box” style that’s called the TARDIS and a little yellow power wheels car they call Bessie. and they the boys are almost always arguing over something or other but they all agree that they hate Rose’s boyfriend Jimmy.
No seriously stop me